Senin, 23 April 2012

Five emotional traps

I'm reading a book which is written by Anthony Dio Martin.
It contains many things necessary to manage emotion.
:)
The fourth chapter is 'Emotional Traps'
Emotional traps are things that often make us angry in daily life.
There are the emotional traps :


1. LABELLING
We often put a label to someone; the attention seeker, the bootlicker, and so on..
We will certainly act different to these people whom we put label on.
It's better to ask them what made them being like that, listen to them, understand their reason.

Putting a label to someone can makes us being subjective.
Avoid putting any label on people.


2.MIND READING
Mind reading in this chapter means trying to guess what people thought without any confirmation.
As an example, we often wish that our partners understand what we want without us need to be communicated.
Not everyone understand what we want, darla..
Mind reading makes us mad with no solution.
Communicate what you want, not everyone is a mind-reader.


3. FORTUNE TELLING
We often behave as if we knew what wa going on.
We mad to our boyfie when he came late to our date, we have assumed that he had forgotten and not paid any attention to us. We didn't know if he was busy, tired, or maybe accidentally trapped in traffic jam.
Fortune telling makes situation worse.
Check what's really going on, you are not a fortune-teller.


4. EXAGGERATING
Many problems start from exaggerating.
When your teacher rejected your proposal several times, you thought that he had personal problem with you, and you took that thing personally.
Exaggerating makes us think subjective and being over sensitive.
One and the only way to avoid exaggerating is seeing problem objectively.


5. SHOULDING
The last emotinal trap is shoulding.
Shoulding makes us feel something should be so and so.
It makes us demand more, it is worse when that demand is irrational at all.
To avoid this trap, communicate effectively.

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